


my road of good intentions

by ohallows



Series: AU snippets [5]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Found Family, Gen, Inspired by Wicked, Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21712207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohallows/pseuds/ohallows
Summary: Zolf’s gone. Zolf’s gone and Sasha’s alone again, heels pounding against the dusty road below as she raced toward the small hut where she and Zolf had been hiding. She doesn’t have time to stop, doesn’t have time to wipe the tears from her face. All she can do is hope the guards aren’t following her, hope that Zolf bought her enough time to escape.
Relationships: Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan & Sasha Racket & Zolf Smith, Sasha Racket & Zolf Smith
Series: AU snippets [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098191
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	my road of good intentions

**Author's Note:**

> this is an excerpt from a wicked au that im never going to write but guess what sometimes u gotta put no good deed on repeat and do the thing. 
> 
> idk dude this is just sad sorry (also sorry jaime i promise i’ll write fluff just for u soon). having big og trio feelings 
> 
> (bri what about the multitude of multichap fics u just have sitting there) shhhhhhhhhhhh
> 
> the zolf/hamid is sort of implied but not enough to tag it imo

Zolf’s gone. Zolf’s gone and Sasha’s alone again, heels pounding against the dusty road below as she raced toward the small hut where she and Zolf had been hiding. She doesn’t have time to stop, doesn’t have time to wipe the tears from her face. All she can do is hope the guards aren’t following her, hope that Zolf bought her enough time to escape. She chances one look behind herself as she slows down, and she can hear the guards yelling in the distance. None of them seem to be following her, at least not  _ yet,  _ but she knows it’s only a matter of time before they do. 

The hut isn’t too far away, thank the  _ gods,  _ and Sasha sees the walls of it from between the trees as she ducks into the forest, off the main path, and throws the door open. 

( _ “You should have stayed behind,” Sasha says, stubborn as always as she glares at Zolf, who is equally if not  _ **_more_ ** _ stubborn than she is. He’s smiling a bit, a little rueful, a little sardonic, and shakes his head. _

_ “What, and leave you to save the world on your own?” Zolf says, falling into step next to her. “Plus, you’d be locked in the dungeons now if it weren’t for me.” _

_ He’s right, but, well. It’s the principle of the thing. “I could’ve gotten myself out,” she grumbles, and Zolf shrugs.  _

_ “Probably.” He’s never been one to downplay her achievements, always turning to her when they needed a little bit of criminality, and never judged her for it. Not like Hamid had, at the beginning, but even he’d come around eventually. She’s flattered, a bit, but it’s quickly tempered by frustration. _

_ “You still shouldn’t have followed me,” Sasha says, leaning back against the tree behind her. She’d seen the look on Zolf’s face when Hamid hadn’t listened, loyalties warring as he’d glanced between them, and she doesn’t think he should have chosen her. Not over Hamid.  _

_ “You’re family, Sasha,” he says, and it’s clear from his tone of voice that there won’t be any more arguing on it. “Hamid - he’s wrong. I know he’s wrong. And I’m not going to leave you on your own. He can go pal it up with Mr. Ceiling and Wilde and the rest. We need to figure out what’s going on.” _

_ She exhales a heavy breath, rubbing at the bridge of her nose. It’s too late to do anything about it now; even if the guards hadn’t seen Zolf dragging her away to help her escape, there’s no way Zolf can go back now. He’d never let himself pretend it was a spell she’d cast on him, never abandon her to fight her fate alone. She knows this, has known this since nearly the moment the met, and Sasha trusts him more than anyone else in the world. Has done for a while, now.  _

_ That doesn’t mean she likes it. Doesn’t mean she’s suddenly okay with him becoming a fugitive on her behalf. But what’s done is done. She can’t rewind the clock, can’t undo his actions, and Zolf wouldn’t thank her for it. Nothing to do but move forward. _

_ “Fine,” she says, and heads off in a random direction. “We need somewhere to stay.” She assumes Zolf follows her as she goes, and the steady plod of his footsteps behind her prove her right. She’s not sure what she’s looking for; something small, maybe an abandoned home they can squat inside for a moment. Zolf seems to be on the same page as her, peering through the trees and looking for any sort of shelter that will get the job done. _

_ “Zolf,” she says, halting briefly as he continues to walk ahead. _

_ “Yeah, Sasha?” he asks, and she bites her lip.  _

_ “Thanks.” _

_ Zolf turns and gives her a shadow of a smile before nodding. “I’ll always look out for you.”) _

The book. The book has to be here somewhere, has to - Sasha rummages through the few bags that she and Zolf had packed, and her fingers finally brush against a rough leather spine. She reaches in and pulls the book out, lays it out on the table.  _ There has to be a spell, _ she thinks frantically, leafing through the pages.  _ Somewhere.  _

She reads through complicated lists of ingredients and instructions in languages that she doesn’t understand and describing spells that have no discernible meaning. She just needs to find an incantation, a single spell that will protect him, will help him survive the wrath brought down upon his head from her decisions. It takes her longer than she’d like before she finally finds a spell that can work, that can save Zolf. Her fingers dance along the page as she begins to read, and a small breeze stirs in the room as the power begins to build and crackle, making her hair stand on end as though electrified. 

_ (They don’t talk about Hamid, about how he let all of this happen. Sasha had - Sasha had trusted him. Had thought maybe, just  _ **_maybe_ ** _ , all of them together would be enough. It had killed her to see Hamid take the step back, back toward whatever the hell Mr. Ceiling was doing. She’d offered a hand, and for a  _ **_moment_ ** _ it seemed like Hamid would take it, would run away with her to the ends of the world, like they’d promised way back when.  _

_ Turns out promises sometimes don’t mean shit. Hamid had still stepped away, had still shaken his head meekly as he gestured all around them, had looked at her helplessly as he explained that he couldn’t leave, not for this. The guards had run in, and Hamid hadn’t done anything to stop them as they lunged at Sasha. She only got away because Zolf was there, because he tugged her hand and tugged her entire soul, and then she was standing outside the chambers with tears streaking down her face. A moment was all they got before they had to run, as alarm bells rang all around them, and Hamid’s face swam in her mind, an image she would never forget.) _

This has to work. It  _ has to _ ; she already doesn’t know how long it’s been, how hurt Zolf could already be, if he isn’t already - no. No, she can’t think about that; she still has to have enough time to save him. It can’t be the end of it all, not like this. 

Her voice rises steadily in the quiet of the hut as her power grows, builds, to the point where she’s nearly screaming, beckoning the universe to bend to her will and save one of the only people she’s ever considered to truly be her family, one of the only people she’s given all of her trust to who hasn’t shown her why she never should. 

_ (The first time Sasha had mentioned Hamid, Zolf had stonewalled her, a bitter curve to his lips as it pulled up into a pained smile. “He chose his path, Sasha,” he says, and doesn’t even try to hide the way it must feel. Sasha knows how his chest must be caving in, how his heart must skip a beat anytime they see someone that  _ **_could_ ** _ be Hamid, because the same feelings continue to erupt in Sasha’s chest. They shouldn’t care about Hamid anymore, not when he’s standing by and letting all of this happen. _

_ That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Bonds don’t go away that easily. Sasha lost a best friend, and even though she still has Zolf, there’s a cavernous space between them where Hamid always used to stand, bright and vivacious and dragging them along toward everything.  _

_ They find the first wanted poster only a few days after they’ve escaped from Mr. Ceiling’s chambers. It’s a crude image of the two of them; nearly unrecognizable it its simplicity.  _

Sasha chants louder and louder until her throat aches with the force of it, and she continues speaking even as her voice grows rough and broken with overuse.

Zolf is - Zolf is somewhere, and he’s being punished because of her, because _he tried to help_ _Sasha_ , and her motions above the book are growing more frantic, more desperate with every second.

The chanting coming out of her mouth doesn’t even make sense to her, a garbled mix of spell and desperate hope that Zolf will be okay. Tears slip down her face as she keeps chanting; there’s nothing else she can do, except keep at it, beg the magic to work for her, beg it to twist the world and reality and all known laws to change one man’s fate. It builds to a fever pitch as Sasha no longer recognizes the words coming out of her mouth, an ancient rite that she doesn’t care that she doesn’t understand. Her voice cuts off abruptly and Sasha lets out a guttural yell as her magic squeezes once, twice, and then shoots upward into the sky, a controlled beam of energy and power that’s chaotic and roiling, building and building until, like a flash, it disappears, and Sasha is left standing in the ruins of an old hut, legs weak and throat rubbed raw, breath stolen from her lungs. 

_ (It was all a trap, in the end. Sasha got word of Mr. Gussett being held captive somewhere right outside of Other London. She refuses not to go, even when Zolf looks more than a little doubtful, but he doesn’t push her on the issue. They agree that he’ll stay behind while she checks it out - she’s always been the better at sneaking of the two of them.  _

_ When Sasha shows up, however, there’s nothing there; well, no, that’s not all true. Hamid is standing there looking forlorn, although his face lights up with a modicum of hope when Sasha steps out from the shadows. _

_ “Hamid,” she says, more closed off than she’s ever been, and it’s clear he clocks it by the little flinch he gives. _

_ “Sasha, I - I’m so sorry,” he says, arms wrapping around himself as he stands in the middle of the road, alone. There’s a pang in Sasha’s heart as she notices how red his eyes are, but she doesn’t let it show in her face.  _

_ “Why didn’t you come with me? With - with us?” she asks, and Hamid turns to look at her, regret and indecision warring on his face.  _

_ “I -“ _

_ “Now!” She hears a shout, and then there’s a swarm of guards racing down a nearby hill as Hamid stands there in front of her. _

_ “You -“ she starts, taking a step back. Hamid’s gaze drops to the floor.  _

_ She can’t run. There’s nowhere to go, not with guards everywhere, and her heart sinks as she realizes it was all a set up, that Zolf was right. She isn’t going to be able to get out of this one, not this time.  _

_ There’s a battle cry from behind her and Zolf staggers onto the scene, breathing heavily, who turns to Hamid and points the glaive directly at him, both of their eyes locked together.  _

_ “Zolf, what are you...” Hamid says, staring at Zolf, who looks as heartbroken as Sasha has ever seen him. “Please, don’t do this.” _

_ “Hamid, you - fuck, you know what’s going on here is wrong and you aren’t doing anything to stop it,” Zolf nearly shouts, and his hand shakes on the glaive as Hamid’s lip quivers, face shattered in heartbreak as Zolf refuses to back down.  _

_ “I - I -“ Hamid says, and then there’s no time for anything, anymore, as guards swarm around them, blocking their only escape route. “Wait, I -“ _

_ “Seize the witch, men!” the lead guard shouts, and Zolf holds up a hand, moving a few inches toward Hamid until the glaive is hovering only a few feet away.  _

_ “Take a step and see what this can do,” he snarls, and Sasha knows it’s a bluff, knows he would never be able to hurt Hamid, not in a million lifetimes, no matter what Hamid had done, but the guards don’t, and neither does Hamid, it seems. He’s still holding a hand between the glaive and himself, and he bows his head slightly as Zolf looks away from him finally.  _

_ The guards aren’t advancing again, not yet, but Sasha knows it’s only a matter of time. Zolf seems to come to the same conclusion as he turns toward her, and Sasha feels her stomach drop out at the look in his eyes. _

“ _ Sasha. I’ll buy you some time, but you need to run, you need to get out of here,” Zolf says, quiet and desperate, making sure the glaive stays level with Hamid’s face, and pulls her in for a tight one-armed hug. “Go.”) _

Sasha feels herself fall to the ground. Her knees hit the ground hard as she leans forward, hands resting in the dirt as she screams in frustration, throwing the book to the side. A pulse of magical energy shoots from her body, a wave of her pain that rattles the walls of the hut as tears slip down her face. Her fingers dig into the dust below her as she tries to calm down, tries to center herself enough to focus, to pull on the magic that flows through her veins and redirect all of it to trying to save Zolf. But her magic is still angry, beating against the cave of her body, and it only quiets as Sasha kneels there, begging it to work for her, just this once.

She can’t lose anyone else, not again. Not Zolf.

First it was Brock, torn from her before she could even breathe, before she could do anything to stop it. And then Mr. Gussett, who fell victim to whatever this spell is, this curse spreading out across the land. Sasha needs to stop it, needs to figure out  _ how _ , but she’s not strong enough, yet, not able to do  _ anything.  _ She couldn’t save anyone, and she’s not going to be able to save Zolf. 

She’s a coward.

_ (“Run!” Zolf shouts as the guards surround him. He takes out one, two, before one gets a lucky shot at his prosthetic leg and knocks him onto his back. A spear shoots at his face and he blocks it, grunting, before scrambling to his feet, fighting like a madman.  _

_ “Sasha! Run!” Zolf yells, and there’s no argument in his voice; Sasha hates herself as she turns on her heel and listens to him.  _

_ Sasha runs and doesn’t look back. She runs and runs, and refuses to turn around, even as she cries. Sasha runs, wiping the tears off her face, and falters but doesn’t break her stride as Zolf shouts in pain behind her. She can’t stop now, can’t go back to how things used to be. _

_ She doesn’t see Hamid run to Zolf’s side the moment the glaive falls, brushing his hair away from his face. She doesn’t have to hear Zolf lean close and whisper how he wouldn’t hurt Hamid, how he’s sorry, how he wishes Hamid could have come with them. She doesn’t hear Hamid try to convince the guards to leave Zolf alone. She doesn’t have to watch him scream with frustration as the guards refuse to listen and drag Zolf away. She doesn’t have to see Hamid collapse to his knees, hands resting lifelessly in his lap as he sits there, helpless. _

_ She just runs, and runs, and runs.) _

Sasha closes the book with a thump. The tears have dried on her face as she stares ahead, unseeing, and stands up, unsteady. She’d only ever wanted to help people, even back when she’d been given nothing but ridicule and mockery in return. Helping had never worked, not for her. It only led to more blood and pain and death. She was the cause of all of this; her desire to be… to be  _ more  _ than what Barrett has built her to be, her desire to break free… all of it led to this. 

When all your help brings is more hurt, where do you draw the line? Where do you stop helping, leaving other people to clean up the mess you callously ignore? How can you help, when you know intimately that the help you bring will only lead to hurt? 

Sasha curls up on herself, arms wrapped around her midriff; her back rests against the wooden wall of the hut as she stares at the book on the ground. It’s been the cause of so much strife, so much pain; her magic, always viewed as a boon by those around her, has brought nothing but pain to her and the ones she loves.

Maybe she never deserved the gift at all. 

She leaves the hut behind eventually, stuffing the book back into her bag as she runs. The guards have to be searching for her, and it won’t be long before they find the hut. The wards were broken the second she screamed, and she doesn’t have the energy to put them back up again. She needs to move on, needs to find somewhere else she can hide out until the guards move on. 

The road outside is deserted, and she moves along carefully as the day turns to night, and her footsteps are muted by the layer of fallen, sodden leaves littering the path. She walks for longer than she knows, emotions and heart as brittle as a thin piece of wood. 

She gets to a town eventually, sleeping and quiet, and continues on her way. If she’s lucky, she’ll be able to find a space in the nearby woods to stay for the night, even if it’s just a large enough tree with high branches that she won’t be visible from. 

There’s another wanted poster for her on a nearby wall as she walks by it, a disfigured version of her own face marred by scars and eyes that are full of hatred even in a drawing. She doesn’t want to know how accurate the photo is now. They’re calling her a wicked witch, a murderer, someone out to destroy all of London, and the anger and hatred rises up in Sasha as a cackling laugh, bitter and sardonic and  _ tired.  _

_ Fine, then, _ Sasha thinks viciously, angry tears marking a path down her sallow cheeks as she grabs the poster and ripping it off the wall.  _ If they expect me to be evil, I’ll show them how wicked I can be. _

**Author's Note:**

> yup
> 
> comments and reviews super appreciated, come chat w me on tumblr abt rqg or anything at connerkcnt !!


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